This has nothing to do with Gollum
I think that the Lord of the Rings trilogy is one of the most boring things ever written. I didn’t like it one little bit. Okay, so I’ve just alienated you and about two-thirds of the English-speaking world, but so what? It’s all to do with the word, which makes me (and a number of other people) to rush at each other in a frenzy of somewhat camp stroking.
The effect of using the p… word!
The reason for reacting to the word is an incident involving Bahkti and his friend Neil in a Manchester pub in 2002. A friend of theirs, who shall remain nameless and who (wrongly) thinks himself to be butch saw Neil in a new jacket, which he stroked while sibilating ”That’sss nicccce”, to which Neil replied “precioussss”. When Bahkti related the story to me, I found it so funny and somehow full of deep spiritual truths, that to this day, I can’t hear the word without having to stroke the speaker. The trouble is, when I taught a course called The Archaeology of Material Culture, part of my lecture on metals invovled metals of a certain type (so-called ‘p-metals‘ in Keith-speak). I would have to stroke myself through my pocket and pray that no students thought I was engaging in an act of self abuse. My eyesight has deteriorated considerably since then, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence…